Who We Are

Was Charlotte destined for advertising, or was advertising destined for her? Her mom is an adland vet, and Charlotte starred in a Gap campaign when she was small, so it’s no surprise either way. When she’s not pushing pixels and ideating greatness, find Charlotte hiking with her adorable pup Kona or crushing black diamonds on the slopes.

Important Fact

Julianna Hough spilled a drink on her at a nightclub once.

Three important things: 1) Jess will most likely beat you at Mad Men trivia because she’s binge-watched it three times; 2) she unofficially credits said show for inspiring her career switcharoo from music production to advertising; and 3) her extreme Sagittarius energy means she’s also a travel fiend (for the record, that also includes time travel).

Important Fact

Jess is an Australian native, so don’t be alarmed if you hear the occasional Aussie slang (like “arvo” instead of “afternoon”).

“Scroll fingers” is a thing, and Madison’s got ’em. Which—surprise!—makes her the perfect community manager. She’s also got a knack for running into celebrities on the street, pulling all-nighters, and cooking a mean risotto. And she’s got a borderline obsession with detail, so you know her plating game is 12/10 107% of the time.

Important Fact

She used to be a hair model and was featured on health.com.

Jessica got into the words game early by selling short stories to her fourth-grade classmates at a quarter a pop. She picked things up again much later when she tripped over a creative writing degree and fell into a career in advertising. She loves tiny things, bodega flowers, and anyone who understands why she finds the show Trailer Park Boys both genius and soothing.

Important Fact

A southerner with no accent to speak of, Jessica probably wants to get coffee with you to talk about your thoughts.

All work and no play makes Steve a kickass managing director. Steve has been working since he was eight years old, which is ironic, seeing as how his great-great-uncle helped pass the child labor law. Yet somehow, it all works. Impressive. And the fact that he’s a SAG-legit voiceover actor? Double impressive.

Important Fact

Steve knows all the words to American Pie. The song, not the movie.

Meet Jen, a Midwestern Virgo and a jane-of-all-trades. After graduating with degrees in English lit and pre-med, she then earned her art wizardry wings at design school. Jen’s past lives also include managing an outdoor bike shop and scoring goals for the University of Leicester soccer (ahem, football) team while studying abroad. (Seriously Jen, what’s next on your to-do list?!)

Important Fact

Jen’s cat, a former round boy at 23 pounds, is now proudly down to a svelte 16 pounds.

Have you or someone you know been the recipient of a greeting card from Buenos Aires, Puerto Rico, Miami, Virginia, or Michigan? If so, was it signed “Gaby”? Because at one time or another, she called all five destinations home. It only took a decade of MTA delays and midnight bodega bagel runs before she reached verified New Yorker status.

Important Fact

Go blue!

Conor joined Madwell in our equivalent of the stone age, when we still worked in a one-room loft and designed things by rubbing sticks together. Over the years, his interests have grown far beyond his foundations in fine art and digital design into printmaking, animation, even some code—anything he can get his sticks on. In fact, he gets so worked up about all the cool things he has yet to create that sometimes he just watches Netflix instead.

Important Fact

Conor has the daddest dad humor of us all.

Jessie spent 29 trips around the sun in Boston before running for the hills (mountains) with two suitcases (of athleisure) and a planner. After a quarter life crisis dressed as the LSATs, Jessie dove head first into agency life and never looked back. With roles in PR and paid advertising in her background, the AM/PM hybrid thing is win-win for this Libra.

Important Fact

25% Andie Anderson, 25% Rachel Green and 50% Helga G. Pataki. She proudly serves House Tyrell.

Julia is what they call a go-getter, and after a brief stint as an animal behavior major in college, go-get she did: she packed up all her science-y things and ventured off into the wonderful wonderland of advertising. And while she was at it, she also found her show-stopping chocolate chip cookie recipe. Double whammy.

Important Fact

Pickles are trash. Next question.

And now, representing the great state of Alabama...it’s Lindsey! Lindsey comes packing a mad love of numbers, the ability to connect every dot, and a knack for the arts (she’s not ALL right brain, people). Come weekends, you’ll catch her jumping with her off-the-track thoroughbred, the distinguished Miss Queen Louise.

Important Fact

Lindsey is the daughter of a State Trooper, and thus has lived in every corner of her home state.

Self-deprecating humor is Kelley’s thing: she likes being a copywriter because she's, quote, “more interesting on paper than she’ll ever be in person.” Agree to disagree, Kelley. Uninteresting people don’t travel solo all across South America and Africa. Or hike a 16,000-foot volcano. Or watch sea urchin needles being removed from their foot. We rest our case.

Important Fact

Pizza isn’t even her favorite food. See? Interesting.

Diana started her career as a copywriter in an agency so tiny that she doubled as hand model for a ballpoint pen account. So tiny that on shoot day, the client paid to have only one hand manicured. These days, she’s saved enough to have all fingers and toes tended to. Good thing, since you’ll find her in flip flops till the first snow.

Important Fact

Diana’s into fermenting things, so keep your cabbages under lock and key.

After dabbling in molecular, cellular, and developmental biology, Bri realized she was far better suited to be behind a camera than a microscope. Digital, film, or just her phone—she’s always snapping away. So when she’s not creating design magic or tending to her 10 (yes, 10!) houseplants? That’s exactly where you’ll find her.

Important Fact

If she could, Bri would fly all over the world. (Just imagine all that #content.)

She meditates in shavasana. She deejays sick beats. She’s hopped time zones everywhere from the palm-fringed avenues of Santa Barbara to the cobblestone calles of Madrid. She’s worked at wine tastings, probably teaching you adult words like “tannins” and “this red has an oaky finish.” She’s Leah, and lucky us: she’s ours.

Important Fact

Leah makes salsa using homegrown ghost peppers. She considered selling her secret recipe because frankly, that’s how everyone should do it.

Josh was drawn to advertising in college because it aligned all of his favorite things: words, pictures, grandiose concepts, and novelty swag. He moved to NYC post graduation and landed straight into Bushwick, a wonderland he’s since been exploring one bodega sandwich at a time.

Important Fact

Having been busted in an illicit potato smuggling operation, Josh is no longer legally allowed in the state of Idaho.

In a former life, Andrea was an English teacher. In the life before that, she was a Division I golfer. But in this life, she’s a highly-organized efficiency junkie who loves to contemplate the intersection of emotion and aesthetics. She runs a production company with her husband, and will you look at that—they're working on a web series based on a short she wrote and directed!

Important Fact

Andrea does a very convincing impression of a Type-A person.

Kirby loves taking things apart and putting them back together again; he also loves hunting for creative ways to solve creative problems. So it’s no surprise that, driven by curiosity about how design and code interact, he simply went ahead and taught himself to code. More surprising, maybe, is his undying love of tiki drinks.

Important Fact

Important fact twofer: Kirby plays in a doom metal band and has a dachshund named Petunia.

Mike is a tough man to pin down. An expert-level frequent flyer, he once flew from New York City to Honolulu and back again just for the frequent flyer miles (and a quick Mai Tai). There’s a good chance the giant red "escape" key on his keyboard teleports him to the nearest airport.

Important Fact

Mike is an aspiring pinball league champion. (Watch this space.)

After dispatching numerous search and rescue teams, we have successfully located Donald in the ominous black hole known as his closet. At approximately 8:02 AM, Donald was found safely nestled amongst a sea of polyester and organic cotton, pondering life’s most philosophical question: “What should I wear?”

Important Fact

This is probably a good time to also mention that Donald owns over 100+ shirts and counting.

Important Fact

My bio is coming soon!

As a 12-year-old, Lea received critical acclaim for “Drop It Like It’s Hot,” her primetime oven mitt dance spectacular. After scoring an internship in the Big Apple, Lea left a Virginia hometown that was home to more cows than people and never looked back. Sorry, cows.

Important Fact

Lea is a cheese ambassador for the great state of Wisconsin. And yes, they do send her free cheese.

This whole design thing was an accident. It’s not Vipasha’s fault that her exams ended up decorated in more doodles than correct answers. Or that a FedEx truck drove by one time, revealing that mind-blowing hidden arrow—it knocked Vipasha’s socks right off. So let’s allow her to obsess over Pantones and fonts in peace. It’s what fate wanted.

Important Fact

Growing up, Vipasha had a lot of pets (if you consider two dogs, 22 love birds, two Scarlet Macaws, two turtles, and a fish a lot).

For starters, everyone should know that Ronald is extremely online. This j-school alum is a social media savant and a maestro of memes, which also means he isn’t afraid to throw shade at brands suffering from a tragic case of “How do you do, fellow kids?” For further inquiries about emojis and what the heck a #finsta is, slide into his DMs.

Important Fact

Ronald would best describe himself as “hangry.”

Charvi’s likes include breakfast in bed, movies in bed, and music in bed. Oh, and long walks on the beach, but that didn’t fit the whole bed theme. Charvi’s dislikes include navigation because she always gets lost (even in her own office) and copywriting (sorry to our copy cats, but she’s an ex-writer who got a little too bored playing with words).

Important Fact

Charvi is probably secretly stalking you.

Important Fact

My bio is coming soon!

Important Fact

My bio is coming soon!

Believe it or not, Charmaine is the official president, vice-president, secretary, and treasurer of the International Alpaca and Llama Fan Club. Which also means there’s a 99% chance she’ll lecture you on “Stylish Camelid Hairstyles 101.” Don’t worry, we’ll share our notes.

Important Fact

Charmaine has a very adorable toy poodle with a very long tongue.

If Minnie Mouse and Ming the Merciless had a baby, it would be Yuki—or so that’s what people have been telling her (upon a request for comment, Yuki shrugs). This dog mama slash emoji fanatic has been known to cry over cute puppy videos, so please stream any emotional animal content with caution.

Important Fact

Yuki has trypophobia (aka a fear of tiny holes).

Stephen was working as a graphic designer in sunny California when he stumbled across copywriting, fell head over heels, and landed smack dab in New York City. When he’s not mustering up copy for Madwell, you can find him battling it out on the Bryant Park ping pong tables or in his kitchen trying to replicate his grandma’s phở recipe.

Important Fact

The mouse in this pic did all of its own stunts and was not harmed in any way.

Chris believes great work ethic is the backbone of design. He spent the past eight years rowing competitively at the Varsity and Collegiate level, a sport requiring daily 5 am wake-ups. Luckily, this has given him a high tolerance to the effects of sleep deprivation, an accepted job hazard for any young designer. He also has a mild obsession with Chipotle and struggles each day he goes without it. Chipotle, you're on notice: come to Bushwick, dammit.

Important Fact

Has a passionate hatred for shoe laces and is anxiously waiting for the day velcro comes back into style.

Important Fact

My bio is coming soon!

Hailing from a family steeped in the visual arts (her great-grandfather was a typesetter in the Depression and her mother is an artist/art teacher), Julia is one of Madwell’s resident experts in making things look awesome. Her heroes are Carl Sagan, David Attenborough, and Edward Gorey.

Julia is also quite fond of kittens, steak, and becomes irritable with lack of proper food and rest.

Important Fact

Reared in Belgium. But can’t speak French. Or Flemish.

Contrary to popular belief, Chloe isn’t just here for the office doggos. Or the cold brew on tap. Or the beer fridge. In reality, she’s in it for wonderfully weird world known as creative agency life. (We’re aligned, Chloe.) Her other sources of happiness include bountiful wheels of Brie, running, and drowning everything in Sriracha.

Important Fact

Chloe is related to Daniel Boone. Yes, really!

So what if Joe is horribly uncoordinated and generally not great with his hands? Computers don’t mind, and there’s nothing a good backspace and refresh can’t fix. Since first tinkering with code at age 11, Joe has made all kinds of neat stuff sans hand-eye coordination. Let’s just keep him away from the laser cutter, please.

Important Fact

Joe once landed a job tutoring the Mayor of Istanbul's son based on his entirely average knowledge of John Cena.

As a middle school recluse, Wake spent just enough time drawing and staring at a computer to realize that design was for him. But while careers are lucrative and all, so is spending your first year out of college in the world's second-northernmost capital just to discover you can eat a whole peach in one bite. Time is money, people. Time is money.

Important Fact

Wake once took a selfie with Barack Obama and Princess Diana. (At a wax museum. In Russia.)

Don’t be surprised if you get bombarded with 2,000 “What’s the deck link again???” Slack messages from Imani. It’s the reason why she caught the advertising bug in the first place—because in this paradise, there’s no such thing as asking too many questions. And lucky for us, this gal just so happens to live and breathe the chase for knowledge.

Important Fact

Imani once had a bowl haircut in 2008.

Okay, so graphic design isn’t her thing (she tried), but advertising sure is. And as it turns out, client services is just the ticket: Lindsay loves nothing more than all that front-lines relationship-building and behind-the-scenes development of good work. Except for weekend hikes with her husband and pups, that is: those she might love just a tiny bit more.

Important Fact

Lindsay's chosen superpower would be canine telepathy. It would’ve come in handy back when her official day job title was “kennel cleaner.”

After deciding—by majoring in it—that political science wasn't his speed, Joe followed the advice of a wise sensei guidance counselor and gave marketing a go. Ever since his first job as a wee AAE, he’s been realizing his passion for connecting marketing and business objectives with the cultural moment. His other passion: BBQ ribs.

Important Fact

Way back when, Joe wrote and creative directed not one, but two Twix commercials.

Libby fell in love with words early on, writing her first “novel” at the age of nine on her parents’ computer. (The book was Titanic fanfiction, as one does in 1998.) Originally from the Midwest, she studied journalism and psychology in college and then moved to the Big Apple. Turns out her background vibed with advertising, and her disposition vibed with New York City.

Important Fact

Libby hasn’t eaten a doughnut in 20 years. Could Bushwick’s Dun-Well Doughnuts break the streak? Only time will tell.

In retrospect, being the most dogged reporter at her elementary school newspaper was probably a sign that Jess was destined to be a writer. (Studying psych in college couldn’t keep her from the wordsmithing she was born to do.) When she's not crushing the copy game, you can catch her crushing crossword puzzles, burritos, and opponents in her East Village street hockey league.

Important Fact

Ask Jess which dog breed you most closely resemble and she'll tell you in a matter of seconds.

The key to Rachel’s success isn’t the ability to channel her inner Elle Woods or Sporty Spice on command; it’s knowing never to channel them at the same time. Other winning factors include her Philly native status, her friendship with every member of the Washington Wizards who played between 2011-15 and a supportive relationship with her cat, Penn. Hi, Penn.

Important Fact

Rachel has been slimed on Slime Time Live.

After the physical and emotional stress of bear fighting got to be too much, Andy “retired” to the design world. Now he spends his days staring at the computer screen, pushing pixels around, and winning the Sonos game in the Colorado office.

Important Fact

Andy once ate so much food at an all-you-can-eat-buffet that they kicked him out and accused him of hiding food in his pockets. To this day, he swears he’s not a buffet cheater.

When he's not doing "the advertising," Brett is doing assorted fun things with his wife and/or dog and/or son and/or friends. He enjoys skiing, adult beveraging, traveling, fantastically produced TV shows, and other stereotypical dopamine pursuits. He wishes he had more time for side projects. Someday it will be so.

Important Fact

Have a nice day.

David is a man of vision, and he’s no stranger to making those late-night musings a reality. Visionary proof point #1: a life of steadfast vegetarianism comes to a crashing halt following a vision of hamburgers in the night. Visionary proof point #2: Madwell. (Bushwick-based ad agencies don’t just appear out of thin air, see.)

Important Fact

From his OG endeavor (www.freediamondearings.com!) to that newfangled bitcoin, David has been out here mining for web gold, well, as long as he can remember

If Mary looks a little familiar to you, it’s probably because she was ALMOST a reality star on season 6 of Master Chef. Sadly, that didn’t pan out. However she did happen to successfully sneak into swanky Cannes Lion shindigs by pretending to be an intern. That right there is smart strategy at work.

Important Fact

Mary doesn’t like drinking water.

Kait has known she was meant for the ad industry since college. Why? Because she loves creative, smart, charismatic people. (Go on, Kait, you’re making us blush.) She also loves massages, wine, and whale watching—but not necessarily in that order, and not necessarily together. Special shoutout to her 130-pound mega-mastiff, Murphy.

Important Fact

Kait is allergic to truffle (both the real deal and the oil). Which technically means this is more of a sad fact…

Laura’s greatest hits as a writer include burning holes through the keys on her keyboard and maintaining all these goddern bios. She divides her free time between eating her weight in noodles and introducing herself to other people’s pets.

Important Fact

Bangs are the windows to the soul.

Believe in love languages? Then believe Emily when she says hers is ice cream. Go ahead, try her: scream for a sweet frozen treat. Bet you a Mr. Softee rainbow-sprinkled cone that she’ll drop what she’s doing—air traffic controlling everyone’s sanity, say, or hanging a second disco ball in her room—and come running.

Important Fact

If Emily were an inanimate object, she would be a strawberry-scented gel pen.

Some say Phil’s passion for media was written in the stars. Others say he caught the ad bug that time he ate a scorpion. The true story is a classic: boy boards subway, boy spots ad on subway, boy is instantly reborn as a master marketer whilst riding said subway. When it comes to love at first sight, good ad placement helps.

Important Fact

Phil’s perfect day involves one cat, one dog, and anywhere between one and five cups of coffee.

What do Bar Mitzvah backup dancing and accounting have in common? Passion, curiosity, attention to detail…and Doug. Discerning by nature, Doug is naturally also among the fussiest of the fussy Madwellian eaters, our beloved King of Carbs. Bring him your pastas, your breads, your cookies, your crackers, your cakes. Now you're speaking Doug’s language.

Important Fact

Fun Fact: Despite his last name, Doug dislikes any and all seafood.

Essence. Emulsion. Ampoule. To some, this may sound like complex chemistry class jargon. To Yan, it’s literally her everyday Korean beauty skincare routine. On top of that, she’s our resident K-pop connoisseur and K-drama buff, which makes her fun fact not-so-surprising (see below).

Important Fact

Yan visits South Korea every three months.

This cool, calm, collected ginger got his start accounts-side in a content agency—that is, unless you count waiting tables when you first get to Brooklyn a start. (It's content too, sort of?). After that, he did a stint in-house with Amex, and he can now confirm that, on a scale of waiting tables to working in-house with Amex, he’s a solid Bankrobber.

Important Fact

Sam loves the radio. It’s his favorite way to consume music and news.

Matt sees effectiveness in design as providing a holistic experience that breeds trust, delight, and true engagement with users. His sensibilities are influenced by his background in architecture; he often dives into distinct project components including visual/interactive design, coding, or conceptual planning. He and David constantly battle for the title of Madwell Ping Pong Champion, but only after Matt has made a ritual French Press.

Important Fact

Matt has eleven toes.

Emma’s happy place? Wherever the cardboard and hot glue is—her not-so-secret love is crafting, after all. Our very own MacGyver also devotes her precious time to kayaking with Orca whales and even shape-shifting à la Nymphadora Tonks. (Okay, that one may just be a fantasy, but can we pretend it’s real?)

Important Fact

This is Emma’s first job out of college! *sent with confetti*

Caroline is out here proving that, yes, writers do have more fun. Ikon or Epic ski pass? Screw it, Caroline’s getting both. Wondering about the best hiking trails? Caroline’s done them all. And don’t even get her started on the music scene. No, really—she’ll fan girl all over you. It’s that love of life that makes us her biggest fan.

Important Fact

Caroline doesn’t like talking about herself, so her fun fact is that she’s been to the moon. Translation? She’s great at making up stories.

If you want to win Armando’s heart, you need only to tenderly whisper “daschunds.” After all, his perspective on all things sausage dogs is more than just an obsession; it’s a holy religion. A note to Armando’s very own daschund: Pica, you’re certainly one blessed pup.

Important Fact

Armando also loves balloon artistry.

Jeff is an inventor who moonlights as a writer who daylights as a creative director. What Jeff does best, though, is churn out creative ideas however a brand needs them most, and he’s got the trophy case to prove it. But his favorite job of all? That’s easy: Dad.

Important Fact

Jeff has had a lot of jobs in his time, including (but not limited to) a gig as a parachute packer.

Joanna is a verified globetrotter, so when it comes to world travel, she’s particularly particular. Bus, train, or plane, you'll kindly save her a seat on the right-hand side of the vessel, or she won’t be sitting with you. And don’t expect to catch this minimalist with more than a carry-on—even if it means sporting her trusty hiking boots on the plane. (Or bus, or train...)

Important Fact

Joanna’s preferred sport is a brisk walk.

A New York native, Julia headed west to Colorado for college and ended up sticking around twice as long as expected. There she worked with one agency specializing in custom installs, apparel, and high-end merch and another, smaller shop (population: Julia) working alongside a polar explorer. Team arctic wildlife for life, y’all.

Important Fact

Julia has had nightmares involving Oreos.

For Alex, advertising scratches every itch. If he’s feeling creative, he’ll pop into a creative review and share his two cents. And if he’s craving a good old-fashioned Excel doc? Perfect—there’s a meeting with Finance coming right up. That’s the kind of variety life as a door-to-door hand-warmer salesman (true story) just can't beat.

Important Fact

French is Alex’s first language. Biking in the park is his second.

In a parallel universe, Will is an engineer. In this universe, Will left engineering school to become a chef, a career he actually likes. Building on his experience baking and selling apple pies to his neighbors at age 6, Will blends business and chef-ery to help Madwell develop and launch new food innovations (and host the occasional high-end backyard barbecue).

Important Fact

Will’s favorite food is whatever vegetables are in season.

Sean takes organization and cleanliness very seriously, except when it comes to cleaning his own keyboard. He’s a double index finger typing prodigy who loves discussing social marketing trends as much as he likes pontificating about whiskey. FYI, you’re drinking it wrong.

Important Fact

He’s not a millennial. Shhh, he doesn’t know it.

Eric is our most introverted extrovert. An aspiring self-made pianist and avid maker of pestos, this Kansas native is also a fantastic plant dad (just ask his plants). Although there was once an outside chance he’d become an oil painter, as a designer, he can (1) photoshop pimples away, (2) make money, and (3) do it all without ruining his clothes.

Important Fact

Eric’s perfect day consists of some combination of breakfast food, puppies, outdoors-ness, rap, and a boat, maybe.

Important Fact

My bio is coming soon!

Ask Kristina how she got into the ad scene (it involves a darkroom and a serendipitous moment of uncertainty). Our culture vulture still can’t believe she gets paid to talk to fascinating people all day. She even loves the ad world so much that she teaches classes at CU Boulder in her spare time. (When she’s not too busy skiing all day and apres-ing all night, that is.)

Important Fact

No matter the temperature, Kristina will absolutely only drink her coffee iced. No ifs, ands, or buts.

Welcome to a Russellian utopia, wherein Russell drives a Tesla and Elon Musk has personally installed 1,000,000 new car charging stations in the East Coast. Here, teleportation is an Olympic sport, and Russell’s friendly aura is beloved by all—so much so that he sells his own range of locally sourced good vibes. Seriously, save us some.

Important Fact

Russell played piano for seven years and remembers nothing from it.

Important Fact

My bio is coming soon!

Jabs knows good art when she sees it; after all, this MICA grad has been art-ing her whole life. Pokemon? Art. Blink-182? Art. Mario Kart? High art. And when she’s not busy consuming art, she’s creating artful brand stories of her own. From challenging herself conceptually to bringing ideas to life through design, Jabs lives for it all.

Important Fact

Jabs has mastered the side hustle: she spins records and runs her own pin and accessories brand on the side.

A Brooklyn native, Jackson got his foot in the door at Madwell purely by chance. After being wrapped in a towel and half-heartedly put up for adoption, Jackson proved himself to be an essential part of the team, and he’s been here ever since. His interests include cosplay, cheese, and killing.

Important Fact

In spite of being on staff for years, Jackson has yet to work a single billable hour.

Need the job done? Better call Jane. “Taking care of business in a flash!” is her lengthy middle name. Just watch as she flexes those time management mega-muscles, taming spreadsheets and timelines left and right. And that’s just one of her jobs; she also works full-time for an adorable tot named Atticus and a spicy pup named Ginger. Jane, we salute you.

Important Fact

Please don’t ever make Jane talk about herself again.

Tweenage Alex emerged from her first-of-its-kind creative high school with nothing but pure love for design (and a documentary about mimes). Now, fueled by her Bay Area chill/Detroit hustle/NYC ambition, grown-up Alex wakes up ready to rock steady every day, so pumped to work her craft that it moves her to tears on the hour.

Important Fact

For three years, Alex spent her Saturday mornings teaching art and creative writing in a maximum-security prison.

Pore through Devin's grade-school notebooks and you'll find weird rhyme schemes, basketball recaps, and creative stories. As an adult, he never outgrew those passions—no small feat, since at 6'5", he outgrew pretty much everything else. At Madwell, Devin thrives on solving language puzzles and his memories of dunking. (He swears he will again one day.)

Important Fact

Devin is on a lifelong quest to find the world's best chicken wings.

Take it in: this right here is Madwell’s wildest road racer. Catch Clay tearing up the bike lanes in his signature neon vest as he pedals thousands of miles within Brooklyn alone. Clay’s lesser-known abilities include extraordinarily good cooking, extraordinary screen prints, and, perhaps most extraordinarily, blanket making.

Important Fact

Clay got to hang out with the Muppets for four whole years while working on a Jim Henson exhibition.

Sarah has had marketing on the mind ever since she was a wee college undergrad, but after discovering the perfect storm of business and creative that is agency life, she was officially hooked. In between campaigns, this globetrotter has managed to visit a whopping 30 countries, including Germany (and not even just because it was Oktoberfest). Prost!

Important Fact

Looking for the perfect song for the perfect mood? Sarah’s got you covered.

Frank has 13 years of experience in building for the web, many years of that overlapping with building things out of glass, steel, and concrete. Letting no detail go without care, he is constantly pushing his skills forward in both the design and development realms. He follows Car & Driver, Consumer Reports, and the decaying state of the retail industry at Labelscar.com

Important Fact

There are only a few things on this earth he does not have an opinion about.

A Virgo, Hilary was astrologically destined to find peace in spreadsheets. A superbly organized creative wrangler, she’s also a Cicerone (it’s like a sommelier...but for BEER). Speaking of fancy words, Hilary speaks French. So you can feel free to ask her for une fromage recommandation, s'il vous plaît.

Important Fact

Hilary would like to take this opportunity to give a shout out to her pops: "LOOK, I’M ON A WEBSITE!"

Important Fact

My bio is coming soon!

The clock strikes midnight. Ben is glued to his laptop, bathing in the screen’s blue light. His curiosity gets the better of him. At 12:03 AM, he types the eight letters that forever change the course of his career: Linkedin.com. His heart pounds at the sight of a Madwell job listing. He holds his breath and hits “submit.” And that, dear reader, was that.

Important Fact

Ben’s happy place rotates daily between concert venue, football stadium, and tattoo shop.

Tat’s full-time job? Graphic designer. His other part-time job? Cactus killer. Yep, you read that right. Tragically, none of his cacti have lived long enough to celebrate their first birthday. Because although Tat loves his prickly plant children very much, he also loves indulging in life's simplest pleasures.

Important Fact

Tat's biggest wish to hold a beer in his right hand and pet a cat with his left.

Important Fact

My bio is coming soon!

Although she publicly goes by Lourdes, the identity of this media maven’s alter ego fluctuates wildly between Big Lee (origin story unknown) and Bank Lee (perhaps based on her dream superhero power of infinite $$$$). It’s a selfless dream, really; she’ll only use it to buy out her archenemies, one platinum credit card at a time.

Important Fact

;D

Offer Hazel a one-way ticket to paradise, and her dream itinerary would involve a secluded beach hotel straight out of a Nicholas Sparks novel. Poolside reading would be mandatory, and spicy fare would be heavily regulated—only because Hazel is level pepperoncini on the Scoville scale, of course.

Important Fact

After getting a degree in international politics, Hazel realized that she was not politician material.

Like any good night owl, Anna loves coffee and African drumming. Although her raw sketching and scribbling skills have given an organic edge to many a Madwell project, her cream cheese bust of Kevin Bacon is still one of her proudest pieces. Anna’s favorite color is Pantone 5773 C; her second favorite color is organization. (If all the dishes are washed and lovingly aligned, we know she’s been by.)

Important Fact

Anna was once bit on the buttocks by a penguin. And she has an unhealthy (literally) fear of vegetables.

Let’s get one thing straight: Jenny Liu was born to plan. And we’re not just talking media, either. Need lunch inspo? Travel advice? Jenny’s got a spreadsheet for that. Word to the wise if you’re looking for a Saturday excel tutoring session, though: this ski bunny hits the slopes every winter weekend. (Watch out, MWCO.)

Important Fact

Jenny once spent a whole summer running a chicken stand at a New York flea market.

Important Fact

My bio is coming soon!

Charity had had just about enough of changing bed pans in the ER when she decided to do something a bit more…colorful, if you will. So she tossed out her latex gloves and dove head first into the bright and brilliant world of word wizardry. When not scribbling or typing away, you can find her in the dance studio, tickling the ivories, and wearing clothes that aren’t scrubs.

Important Fact

Despite checking every gift shop on every trip she’s ever taken, she's still not found her name on a tiny souvenir license plate.

If you asked Isaac’s parents what he does for a living, they’d probably say, “No idea, but sounds like his college fund was worth it!” Instead, ask them about that time he had a joke published by the one and only Rosie O’Donnell. Or ask them about the Isaac Lopez elementary school in the Philippines, even though there’s no connection whatsoever.

Important Fact

A born-and-raised New Yorker, Isaac’s ideal afternoon involves a big old “W” for the Yankees.

Peek inside Matt’s wonderfully magical mind and you’ll find…well, a whole lot. There’s probably some pottery (from his potter days), some candles (from his candlemaking days), a Calico cat named George, and an entire avant-drunk experimental theater troupe. Oh, and various salvaged material... for making sculptures with, of course.

Important Fact

If found, please return Matt to section IV of the Chattooga River.

Mike hails from a long line of commercial printers. In a grand act of millennial rebellion, he left the ink dynasty for enemy territory: digital marketing. After short stints in the worlds of music and PR, he finally found his home nestled into the process-driven magic of creative production.

Important Fact

If you happen to spot a teenage mutt named Muddy prancing about the Denver office…Mike belongs to him.

A self-declared nerd (New York State Science Olympiad champion for life), Rachel can and will school you in a game of “what bird is that.” And if avian trivia isn’t your thing, quiz her on her brewery geography: she’s only been to 90 of them. Her only known weakness is hot sauce.

Important Fact

Rachel has a cat named after the Ghostbusters demon dog, Zuul. (She also has a close friend named Dana…)

Being selected as the captain of her high school basketball team told Brigid one thing: her team leadership skills and generally positive attitude MUST be greater than her bench warming skills. A knack for meticulous to-do lists, tenacious bank account monitoring, and avoidance of her mother’s advice to go into Accounting led her to the wonderful world of Production and Account Management, which has proven to be the perfect fit.

Important Fact

Baby Brigid spent the first year of her life in a body cast.

From atop the sinking ship of his existentially confusing career in banking, Colin scanned the Great Sea of Employment for a champion. Just then, a friend shouted from a raft called Advertising. What luck—there were a few seats left! And people were drinking! With nothing but a copy of “Ogilvy on Advertising” in hand, he jumped in and started swimming.

Important Fact

Colin is almost certainly going bald but can’t get anyone to believe him.

Michelle is an expert relationship builder and organizer of things—a true Virgo. She’s worked in community development, government, and on the other side of advertising, appearing in spots for Aussie brands you’ve never heard of. She fell in love with her future husband on a two-week holiday (that’s Australian for “vacation”) and moved here for good two months later. USA 1, AUS 0.

Important Fact

In process there is peace.

Jess’ vice isn’t coffee (ew) or chocolate (double ew): it’s jam-packing her time with ways to learn new things (like dumpling making) and ways to pass on what she knows (by TA’ing classes for up-and-coming UXers). She takes user needs advocacy dead seriously, so if you’re a user of anything, or have users using your thing, you’ll want Jess in your court.

Important Fact

No, it isn’t short for Jessica. Ask again and just see what happens.

Sure, Teresa may be a tiny, talkative, and half-Thai Aquarius, but she's also a warrior queen of the Madwell Hong Kong boxing club. FYI, she's never missed a single class, so proceed with caution. And lucky for those media planners/buyers out there, Teresa happens to love doing what they hate the most: trafficking and set-up.

Important Fact

Teresa’s resting [CENSORED] face has caused her trouble in the past.

Art or computers? Computers or art? Such were the questions tormenting Zach as he tried to map out life after college. Then he landed his first job at an ad agency and discovered he could do both. Huzzah! When he’s not pushing pixels, he’s probably playing board games or practicing parkour in hopes of becoming a real life ninja.

Important Fact

He can standing broad jump over 7 feet on a good day.

Befriending bodega cats is a legitimate resume skill. Just ask Tomoka, who’s already won over all the felines of Brooklyn (Manhattan, you’re next). Tomoka’s personal recipe for happiness requires an infinite supply of plants, a splash of wholesome memes, and generous helpings of aquarium jellyfish exhibits. Serve and enjoy!

Important Fact

Tomoka would have a “pretty good” chance of surviving if she were to fall into a wormhole and end up in the 18th century.

Sajjad is a lifelong taker-aparter of electronics and autopsy-er of their insides. As Madwell’s beloved surgeon of tech, he keeps our machines (and their humans) healthy and sane. Sajjad's long-game goals involve blending his great bedside manner and techxpertise—see what we did there—with his other, other loves: visual art and electronic music.

Important Fact

Sajjad is a native New Yorker (is that really so unusual?).

You asked, we answered. Presenting the official Brian Naujelis starter pack: electric guitars (he owns three), salsa (made from scratch), a few (short) stories, a jacket (worn 24/7, no matter what the thermostat says), an absurdly accent-less accent (he lost that North Jersey tone when he moved to Virginia), and tacos. And there you have it.

Important Fact

Please CC us on those salsa recipes, Brian.

It took Kelsey months to write this bio, mainly because she’s been busy Instagramming mai tais and reminding everyone that she’s a Pisces sun *AND* rising. If you see her, please feel free to consult her on topics such as cowboy emojis, sordid love affairs with Thesaurus.com, and the best pizza condiment (ranch).

Important Fact

Kelsey’s DNA is 66% Cool Ranch Doritos (notice a theme here?), 23% psychedelic surf rock, and 11% neon signs.

Name a movie and, statistically speaking, Colin has seen it. This cinephile sees between two and four films a week, and movie-watching isn't even his official side-hustle; that’s illustration. It’s partly how Colin got his ad-world start—as an art director—before finding his way into the wild world of creative production.

Important Fact

Want to see some of those sweet illustrations? No problem; Colin regularly showcases his work all across the country.

Young Scotty got his start in animation as a child prodigy post-it flip-book artist. All these years later, he hasn't doubted his line of work once—except for the time he took a stab at burrito blogging, or that stint surfing, or that time he contemplated a career in Muppeteering...

Important Fact

Scotty’s idea of a perfect day is twofold. Part one, a foot massage. Part two, a magic show.

Once she figured out that she had less-than-hireable degrees in college, Madie found her way into the world of advertising. And thankfully so, because this tall, dramatic, hilarious sweet-potato addict is a brilliant strategist who knows the value in putting an empathetic lens on everything she does. Plus, this one’s got movie references for days.

Important Fact

She’s not Italian, but wishes she was. So if your last name ends in an “i” or an “o,” feel free to adopt her.

After abandoning her childhood aspirations of rap and gymnastics stardom, Lauren decided writing was a suitable backup. Since then, the NYC native has penned things for some magazines you might've heard of and some brands that might be in your bathroom. She eagerly awaits Amanda Bynes' next project.

Important Fact

Lauren will smoke you at Connect 4. This is not a test.

You know that feeling you get when you become a designer just to work on the Harry Potter franchise, but then they wrap before you finish school? Or how it feels when you suddenly notice your phone isn’t in your pocket? Or when you can’t remember if you finished that cookie or just misplaced it? This concludes our tour of Paco’s psyche.

Important Fact

Paco knows how to be awkwardly silent in 4 languages.

Long ago (in 1995) and far away (read: at her grandma’s house in Mexico), a young Tanya decided to tinker around with Microsoft Paint. Her first major project: airplane tickets, each personalized for her stuffed animal pals. In the wise words of Tanya’s dad, “You’re probably going to be a graphic designer.” He ain’t wrong there.

Important Fact

Tanya wants to be a tiger or a Michelin-starred chef in her next life.

Lynsey is about as practical and efficient as they come. This high school valedictorian graduated at the top of her class even though she skipped PE 4 out of 5 times a week. She also once told her mom she was going camping but actually snuck across the border...to Canada. (Sorry, Lynsey’s mom!)

Important Fact

Despite having never seen one in her whole life, Lynsey is terrified of leeches.

Tori loves a good journey to a strange land. It’s a sense of adventure that landed her—among other places—right here, in the mystical world of Madwell media planning. Some observations from the road: humans are weird and fascinating, and her almost-famous turkey ricotta meatballs are up there as far as meatballs go.

Important Fact

Tori loves deserts. She loves them so much she could just cry

Important Fact

My bio is coming soon!

A unicorn, this one is: she’s one of those rare Denver natives who returns home after years of “traveling for work.” She also happens to be a Pranic Healer and Arhatic Yogi as well as an initiate of the Maya Cosmology. Did someone say triple threat? Also, ladies, if you need any makeup tips—she’s got you.

Important Fact

As a healer, Angelina has helped people free themselves from anxiety, depression, and heal from strokes and disease. Yeah, we’re lucky to have her.

Wanted: Kate Rohrich, for the murder of several houseplants. Once you're done *not* asking Kate to take care of your plants, ask her if Portlandia is really what her native Portland is like (in short, more than she'd like to admit). You can also ask her about saxophones, NaNoWriMo, and what life is like as a Leo rising.

Important Fact

Kate collects scissors (no, not that kind; the cute, teensy embroidery kind).

Arguably the best color-coder ever to hail from the great country of Lithuania, Danute was born ready for a career in production. But wrangling creatives isn’t her only calling. Catch Danute "assisting" her insta-famous (ever heard of the Dogist?) bulldog pup Frida on her many adventures around Brooklyn.

Important Fact

Danute started a sustainable (and stylish!) knitwear label that employs stay-at-home moms in rural areas of Lithuania.

While Matt was always into drawing—in high school, he was an avid in-class doodler—he credits his father for turning him onto the Sunday comics. Matt counts Dr. Seuss and Doug Funnie among his influences, and in other news, he’d happily eat bagels with cream cheese and lox for every meal.

Important Fact

If Matt had his way, “Return of the Mack” would play every time he entered a room.

How does one get into this line of work, you ask? Simple: one follows one’s love for art direction and design. And why does one love it, you ask? Because it’s amazing to create something so simple and streamlined that evokes such a strong reaction from people. And what does one do when not designing, you ask? One golfs. You ask a lot of questions.

Important Fact

Alex hails from the same town as Charlie in the original Willy Wonka. Or does Charlie hail from the same town as Alex?

Ever heard of Liver Nifflies? Natalie couldn’t get enough of them until that day 17 years ago when she finally read the ingredients. A lover of the outdoors with “Rocky Mountain State” written all over her, when Natalie’s not hiking the hikes and camping the camps, you can catch her powwowing it out with her creatives. They keep her on her toes.

Important Fact

Natalie once made the Denver Derby Dolls roller derby team. She never played...she just wanted to see if she could make the cut.

Sydney didn’t need to visit the Empire State to know it was the place for her. She just packed her bags and boldly moved from Virginia, as you do. Her advice for all the other New York hopefuls out there: only fold your slice in the presence of real New Yorkers, winter is cold (like really cold), and another thing about that pizza: make sure to put hot sauce on it.

Important Fact

Sydney is the proud dog-mom to one dachshund-corgi mix and the proud plant-mom to more plants than she prefers to count.

After getting his degree in art, Pedro took a major career turn to pursue professional cycling in Spain. Then he returned to the States to sell mortgages. So how did he get back to design without a portfolio? All it took was a knowledge of Illustrator for his neighbor Gary to spontaneously offer him a job. And for that, Gary, we thank you.

Important Fact

Pedro has seven no-name chickens (he finds it best to not get too attached).

At age 22, David “Steak” Salisbury (get it???) jetted off to Hong Kong to live the glamorous life of an underpaid junior copywriter. After getting his fill of being very, very far from home, he returned stateside for another dance with his beloved West Virginia (he’ll tell you all about it, trust us) before making the big move to the big city.

Important Fact

David is a half-decent tennis player and half-decent saxophone player (just not at the same time).

After discovering an untapped creative eye and re-tapping her natural motherly instincts, Zae realized at least one of her callings: coordinating the day-to-day doings of bright-eyed ad-makers. She even gets to do it in her hometown of Bushwick. (Seriously, she grew up on McKibbin Street, right across from the original Madwell office. How crazy is that?)

Important Fact

Watch out for Zaida on the dance floor—she used to dance salsa professionally.

When Courtney was little, she “worked” with her architect dad by “borrowing” all his good supplies for her “creations.” Eventually (very eventually) she realized she liked graphic design more, and her dad’s supply stash was saved. You’ll know Courtney on sight by her Vantablack wardrobe and mega-seriously-for-real fear of clowns.

Important Fact

Grey counts as a pastel.

Master coder turned master planner, Sandy has been managing projects since before Williamsburg was cool (Remember Trash Bar? How about before Trash Bar was Trash Bar?) After a stint on the West coast—and an even briefer stint in the South—Sandy returned to her beloved Williamsburg, where she spends her days enjoying the neighborhood’s more “grown-up” perks.

Important Fact

Sandy’s dream afternoon? Beach, booze, heavy metal.

There’s a reason Charlie is our go-to guy for putting out fires: he was a firefighter for almost 10 years. These days, he’s all about building stuff (you know: carpentry, welding, brand identities…). He’s even restoring a 1984 Dodge truck. Maybe that’s why he’s so patient with us? Sorry again, Charlie. Thanks again, Charlie.

Important Fact

If Charlie had a superpower, it would be to read Frankie’s mind. Frankie is Charlie’s dog, naturally.

Completing creative marathons requires limber, buoyant legs and excessive stamina. At a solid 5 foot 7 inches tall Chris has the creative legs of a pigmy elephant combined with the speed of a full-sized adult cheetah (without the balance). Chris's design career began at the ripe old age of 5 when his mother provided him with a budget to decorate his bedroom to his liking. He has since maintained the philosophy that what he sees in his head he should attempt to manifest, no matter how hard, and always on a budget (for the most part).

Important Fact

Feels that watching Nicolas Cage movies purifies the soul while connecting one's subconscious with the cultural zeitgeist. Especially Bangkok Dangerous.

When you start out selling hearing aids over the phone (true story), you walk away with a loud voice and a pass to do literally anything else. Since that auspicious start, Jenita has worked in theatre, brand marketing, account management, and content production. Off the clock, she gets her kicks reading between the lines and making collages, which she completes to the halfway mark before abruptly stopping.

Important Fact

At dive bars, Jenita typically orders tea.

Our mega-organized, type-A theatre buff got her start marketing “The Great White Way” before making her way off Broadway—way, way off Broadway—and onto Boerum Street. If she offers to make you a spreadsheet, define you a process, or serenade you a serenade, do the right thing and take her up on it.

Important Fact

Alex once willingly paid for a full Olive Garden dinner despite being told they were out of the unlimited breadsticks.

Important Fact

My bio is coming soon!

Success is about maintaining a strong set of personal values. Talamo values the power of things being organized all neat-like. He also values the power of extreme air conditioning, because the alternative is wearing shorts, and wearing shorts is a sure sign of moral weakness.

Important Fact

NYC is full of world-class museums that Talamo visits once every never.

Tune into The Great Spreadsheet Bake Off to find Daria whipping up color-coded confections and handcrafted formulas. Then after, catch an episode of Woman vs. Wild, starring our very own Daria as expert nature navigator and undisputed empress of s’more-roasting. Now, excuse us while we finish binge-watching both shows—no spoilers, please.

Important Fact

Don’t be alarmed if you see Daria whispering to the baby leaves on her plants (she thinks that helps them grow big and strong).

Important Fact

My bio is coming soon!

Alice’s story is a classic homecoming tale. Way back when—when a multi-decade advertising career was just a twinkle in her eye—this Hong Kong native left for college, venturing across many seas to the great Canadian metropolis of Toronto. Fast forward to today: after a stint in mainland China, Alice is back in Hong Kong, and boy are we thrilled to have her here with us.

Important Fact

Alice is known in these parts for sporting perfectly coordinated black on black ensembles. No Pantone swatches necessary.

Jason is a Texan who moved to NY because he heard about it in a rap song (really pretty much all rap songs not by Dre). His eyesight is on the Mr. Magoo level but his design third eye rivals the power of Cyclops (the optic blasts from the X-Man, not the Greek epic god-spawn). Branding and typography are his passions, as are bean & cheese tacos with bacon and guacamole. And bright colored shoes.

Important Fact

In order to be employed at Madwell, Jason inadvertently spent a night in jail. Seriously, he was handcuffed on Madwell time. That's dedication.

Micky’s adventures in advertising began with a Real Men of Genius ad campaign (translation: Bud Light radio spots). Today, she’s not only a master word wrangler, but she’s also—wait for it—a puppy midwife. If you ever go to Sweden and serendipitously meet a dog named Micky, just know that that Micky was named after this one.

Important Fact

Micky’s definition of nirvana is metal music and hockey. At the same time.

Contrary to urban legend, the infant Ben X. Trinh was not rocketed to Earth from a dying planet. (He was in fact born in Arkansas and raised in Memphis.) He's worn as many metaphorical hats as he owns pocket squares: illustrator, graphic designer, bartender, lead singer. You could say that this multitude of experience makes him ideally suited to Design Experiences, or something.

Important Fact

Ben crafts a perfectly accurate margarita.

A UK native, ten years ago Abigail made the move to Hong Kong for work (and good food). While she’s passionate about perfectly aligning text boxes in Powerpoint, Abigail is equally if not more passionate about travel: she’s visited 43 countries to date (and that’s despite a major fear of flying).

Important Fact

Abigail sneezes every time she eats good dark chocolate.

When it comes to dollars and cents, Dan is our number one guy. Madwell’s financial spirit guide gets his kicks showing creative and finance how to collaborate in perfect harmony. When he’s not (gently!) crunching numbers, catch Dan pedaling a trusty two-wheeler around his great home state of New Jersey.

Important Fact

He may have put his tuba practice on the back burner, but it was Dan’s low-brass training that inspired him to put his CPA skills to use in a creative industry.

See that face? That's the face of the worst skier to ever grace the Rockies. While a student-citizen of the great state of Colorado, Emma had to be personally escorted down the mountain due to her dangerously low speed. On the upside, you’re also looking at a bonafide bagel expert (Brooklyn, baby) and a faithful member of the cult of snacktime.

Important Fact

Emma has a debilitating fear of dead birds. Attention, Jackson: no gifts please.

Stephanie is a master of words—so much so she lived a whole first job-life as an English teacher. But when she found out she could put those skills to work speaking for brands on social media, she made a lane change into community management. Don’t worry, she signalled first.

Important Fact

Stephanie met her own dog, Pepperoni Pizza, on social media. See: a master.

Not everyone gets the opportunity to write and star in their own shampoo commercial. As a child, Casey was one of the lucky few at bathtime every night. When she got to college, it was only natural—hair toss—that she’d study advertising. When she’s not organizing something on behalf of our clients, she’s cleaning and/or singing with her mouth closed. Life is good.

Important Fact

If Casey doesn’t have a dog within two years, kindly hold her accountable.

This Laura goes by many names (e.g., Jumpsuit) and wears many rings. She's sort of always been a writer, but it wasn't until she penned a short story about vampires and gave her English teacher nightmares that she considered pursuing it as a career. When she isn't staring into the void willing new thoughts to life, you can find her drinking whiskey at sundry dive bars and attending heavy metal concerts as well as non-thrash related musical happenings.

Important Fact

Laura was born and raised in Louisiana (not New Orleans). She makes up for not having an accent by making really, really good gumbo.

A proud grade school troublemaker, Cullen got his start with a not-so-well-received series of pen-on-desk doodles. While he’s since graduated from tormenting the Wood Acres Elementary custodial staff, he’s never stopped making and breaking. He’s also a fiercely passionate gamer, and by reading this you hereby agree to play him in a game of Catan.

Important Fact

Cullen’s time living in Copenhagen made him a real hygge aficionado. Get comfy and give it a google.

For Jake, danger is just another word, as scary as all the others. It was a college English professor who first showed him how weird, how provocative, how dangerous writing could be (see: Twitter) and the rest is linguistic history. He's also the 2nd-best ping pong player in any medium-sized group.

Important Fact

Jake moved to NYC on a dare from his wife.

Do you remember the first time you visited New York City? Was it the same day you moved in? Kelsey never meant to move here, but after getting her degree in graphic design (and following a brief stint in Chicago), this photographer and Orlando native made the jump. So what if it wasn't in the plan? Now she can’t imagine ever not doing it.

Important Fact

Whatever it is, the people are the best part.

A teaser of Germaine’s many marvelous internet tabs: tab one is a four-hour playlist titled “Ambient Music for Deep Concentration.” Sixth tab is Antarctic penguin videos. On the tenth tab, an article about how to conquer the world (through travel). Oh, and did we mention the other 700+ spreadsheet and PDF tabs? Pick a tab, any tab...

Important Fact

According to Germaine’s research, tequila is most effective when taken 3 shots in a row.

Designer by day, rockstar by night— Monsha’s creative streak can be traced way back to her parents. Raised on Led Zeppelin and Deep Purple, Monsha was “forced” into service as the drummer of her family band, THE WONGS. When she’s not rocking out with her human family, you’ll find Monsha hanging out with her two particularly needy pups.

Important Fact

Monsha’s hot take: “The Sims” should only be played on cheat mode.

Let’s examine the evidence. For starters, Coby is always at this place called “the beach.” She’s a suspiciously good diver and a frequent wearer of waterproof mascara. She’s memorized every crevice of the Pacific Ocean by heart and she’s halfway done with the Atlantic. All evidence clearly points to only one conclusion: Coby is a mermaid.

Important Fact

On land, Coby enjoys binge-watching Marvel movies (though she wishes she could do it underwater too).

Legend has it that Chloe joined the cult of advertising purely by mistake. But as soon as you meet her, you can tell it wasn’t an accident that brought Chloe into our sparkly galaxy of client calls and team-wrangling—it was fate. Turns out she and advertising were a match made in dream job heaven all along.

Important Fact

Chloe has a phobia of electricity pylons.

Candy’s hours of operation fall strictly after dark. In fact, she only sleeps 3-4 hours a night and feels pretty darn good every morning. How? Could it be that her nocturnal clarity comes from an otherworldly energy source? Is she lunar-powered? Frankly, we’re left with more questions than answers.

Important Fact

On a crisp autumn day, you’ll find Candy lounging in the grass, sipping wine and doing absolutely nothing.

It’s a Sunday in the summertime. The AC is on high (a mysterious benefactor pre-pays the bill). You wake up naturally, then spend the entire day cooking dish after dish with fresh and exciting ingredients. Your friends arrive to share in the meal. The wine is flowing, the charades are charading, and at the end of the night, everyone helps do the dishes. The end.

Important Fact

Thanks for coming to Hayley’s perfect day. Please wash this plate.

SOS! Where’s the best Mexican fish taco joint? Or what’s the scoop on that Tokyo omakase spot guaranteed to take you on a spiritual culinary journey? Simply ask Celeste, reigning queen of cosmopolitan cuisine, and you shall receive. PS: Give her #foodstagram a follow for the exclusives on all Insta-worthy grub.

Important Fact

Celeste is currently plotting ways to meet Chrissy Teigen.

The Squeeze Toy Aliens once saved Yan’s life, and she’s eternally grateful (for the uninitiated, that’s a reference to her all-time favorite Toy Story character). Fortunately, Yan is now safe and back on planet Earth with us, ready to resume her life’s calling of inhaling pancakes and staring longingly out of bus windows.

Important Fact

Yan’s favorite letters are S, L, E, E, and P. In that exact order.